This page is all about what I believe in, how I got there and where I hope to be. Come on in, look around take what rings true to your soul, learn from it, and let the rest go. Enjoy!
are on spiritual journey since 01/10/98.
This is a work in progress, as I myself am.
Latest Update 03/07/98. Check back often -
my insights come in leaps and bounds.
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As far back as I can remember Ive always believed in something more or greater than myself - and always in an unconventional way. I was christened/baptized in the Episcopalian faith because that was what my Mother was raised as. Due to my Fathers work, we moved around quite a bit and if there wasnt an Episcopal church we attended the closest my Mom could find. This included Methodist, Baptist, Presbyterian, and I attended Catholic church with my friends from time to time. I loved to read and learn about the Bible stories but always knew them for the parables they were and the lessons they tried to teach - I never took them for literal fact. I can also remember as a very small child that I talked to the clouds (each color had a different name) and to the trees as well - I even remember them talking back to me! I can also remember vivid and colorful dreams in which I traveled to other places. I also remember other dreams in which I was someone else (yet still my self) in another time. All of this ended at around the same time I reached puberty.
My first memory of traditions other than Christian was while learning about other countrys cultures for a school report in the 4th grade. (It was an advanced, experimental class.) I was intrigued and fascinated by the thought of there being more than one version of "God." I started reading and researching Hinduism, the Muslim faith, Buddhism, and various other recognized religions. Although most shared common messages and common lessons for humanity, none of them quite rang true to me, even at a young age. So I decided to find out more about the Christian religion and re-read the Bible, but even it didnt really seem right to me - there were too many hypocrisies and unexplained situations that didnt ring true. So I stopped believing in God and church altogether (or so I thought).
About this time I found a book that my Grandfather had about Edgar Cayce. It fascinated me and some of the concepts felt very familiar to me. I then started to research similar subjects such as out-of-body experiences, psychic phenomenon, ESP, etc. Some of it sounded right but didnt seem like the whole picture either. Then right out of high school I found a bookstore that specialized in the esoteric as it was called in the early 80s. I found a whole new world of alternative religions and spiritual information. I thought maybe Wicca was the answer because it seemed to have a more balanced approach to spirituality, and some of its concepts were comfortable to me - but in the end I found it to be simply another religion with several different traditions all claiming to be the one, true path. And although Ive never delved into Satanism - I did look into some of what I consider to be the "darker" paths of spirituality. By this I mean the ones that use "magic" or "occult forces" to try to bend the will of others to their own. And this same concept was what really turned me off of those paths because I feel its totally unnecessary and actually harms the one trying to control others in the end.
I finally came to realize that "God" doesnt belong solely to the Christian faiths or to any organized religion and that my belief in a God/Ultimate Being/Creator, is not that unconventional. I was always fascinated by Native American Spirituality and began to look into that and other nature-based forms of spirituality. While doing genealogical research I found Native American ancestors so although my cultural identity and heritage is not Native American, my familys heritage was and so I believe is part of my soul.
Right now I'd say I'm on a pretty eclectic spiritual path. I've just begun reading the Bible again - which delights my family to no end. (I figured I couldn't continue to discuss/argue about it properly without actually remembering most of it.) I am still interested in Native American spirituality, which is part of my family although not cultural heritage. I am also interested in what has become known as (and I hate the term because some of these beliefs date to the BC era) "New Age" spirituality. I use some of the more modern and ancient tools such as tarot cards, geomancy, my computer, etc. for ways to help myself grow and learn, (I only use these tools for myself so please don't request readings.) and suggest that everyone use them as well. I believe it is a way for our guardian angels, spiritual guides, etc. to help us understand ourselves and our world better. But I also think they should only be used as a guide for personal transformation and not as the only source of wisdom in your life. Anything (including religion and spirituality) used obsessively and to excess is negative. Balance is what we should all strive to achieve for ourselves and the world around us.
I believe that everyone is on their own spiritual path and that all of those paths, if followed positively (by not harming others), lead to God. I don't think there is any one way or truth; I think we are all here on our own paths of growth and enlightenment. I believe in and try to live by the teachings of all of the religious prophets/leaders but do not necessarily believe in the religions built around them. And actually if you do a little research you will find out that almost all of the world's religious leaders and deities have pretty identical beliefs - it just depends on the time period , the culture, and the life in which those leaders were born into. I also believe that if any religion or religious leader tries to tell you how to think, what to think, how to live and says that if you don't you'll die or won't get into their version of heaven - run, RUN FAST! That is how cults are born and maintained. I believe you should read, research and learn all you can, take what rings true to your soul and let the rest go. But don't be afraid to expand your mind and your belief systems - you just might expand your soul along the way.
Where I'd Like To Be - This is a hard one. While I'd like to be able to say that I'd like to be at the highest level of perfection, if I was I would have to leave behind those that I love and I'm not sure I could do that. I seem to be in a period of simplification - downsizing my possessions, buying for needs vs. wants, etc. I'd like to be able to move closer to nature and become more self-sufficient. I'd also like to become more involved in issues concerning nature, ecology, spirituality. Like most I suspect, I am in a struggle that pits monetary and material concerns against my spiritual goals and growth. What I need is some sort of balance between the two because unless there's a drastic change in the world's economy, you need money for almost everything these days - including your own existence.
I think we are currently at a crossroads that will determine the future of humanity and our world. But I think it is more of an individual process of growth and change rather than a global process. We can regulate and restrict until our little hearts content but unless we as individuals change our own way of living, we can't truly change the world's. We have reached the point where most of us don't take things on blind faith so unless some "hand of God" situation happens (which I don't foresee) there won't be some sort of en masse change going on in the new millennium. My hope is that we come together as communities based not upon race, color, creed or other circumstance but upon our common goals for ourselves and for humanity, all of us working toward common goals and for the common good in a spiritually positive way. All of this while remembering that although we may believe in different Gods or differently in the same God, that our fates are intertwined with each other.
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Our ambition should be to rule ourselves, the true kingdom for each one of us; and true progress is to know more, and be more, and to do more. - Lubbock (1834-1913)
The way of the Creative works through change and transformation, so that each thing receives its true nature and destiny and comes into permanent accord with the Great Harmony: this is what furthers and what perseveres. - I Ching (B.C. 1150?)
Live neither in the present nor the future, but in the eternal. The giant weed (of evil) cannot flower there; this blot upon existence is wiped out by the very atmosphere of eternal thought. - H.P. Blavatsky (1831-1891)
On a long journey of human life, faith is the best of companions; it is the best refreshment on the journey; and it is the greatest property. - Buddha (B.C. 568-488)
Thinking, understanding, reasoning, willing, call not these Soul! They are its actions, but they are not its essence. - Akhenaton? (c. B.C.E 1375)
As one acts and conducts himself, so does he become. The doer of good becomes good. The doer of evil becomes evil. One becomes virtuous by virtuous action, bad by bad action. - Upanishads (c. B.C. 800)